After 30 years of marriage his wife decided to call it quits. “You don’t appreciate me at all, I have been doing everything a good wife should and you never tell me you love me. It’s been years since you have told me that!” The husband looking up from his paper said, “Listen, I told you I loved you when we got married and if I ever change my mind I will let you know.”
Study after study show us that appreciated causes repetition and is a much better motivator than money. When you tell someone that you appreciate their efforts they are much more likely to repeat them. It really is as simple as that.
I wonder how many employers expect their team members to operate on autopilot? When employees put in the extra hours to get the job done, forgo the pay raise because business is slow, work weekends or miss family functions they NEED to know that their efforts are appreciated. Sure a bonus is good (and often needed) but kind words will be remembered long after the money is gone. There is power in praise!
During a men’s retreat I was reminded of how little time fathers actually spend with their children and out of the time they do spend with them, most of it is usually spent instructing, guiding or disciplining. This slap in the face forced me to write my son a letter of encouragement telling him how proud I was of him and the choices he has been making and that he was turning into a fine young man. He read it, we hugged and he stuffed it into his pocket. He was about 10 years old then. When he was 18 my wife was doing laundry and pulled out this wet piece of paper from the bottom of the washing machine. “Whose is this” she asked. My son took it and said; “OH man, that was the note dad gave me!” He carried it in his pocket every day for 8 years! Don’t tell me that people do not appreciate a kind word, a personalized card or note!
Business is business but people are people!
I wonder how many employees take what their employers do for them for granted? I know many employers that fabricate work to do just to keep their employees busy so they don’t miss a check. Some will often go without paying themselves for weeks at a time to make sure they meet payroll when cash flows tight or a client doesn’t pay them. Appreciation works both ways!
Life it tough enough for everyone and a little encouragement and appreciation can go along way and it certainly tightens relationships.
“Compliments by their very nature are highly biodegradable and tend to dissolve hours or days after we receive them – which is why we can always use another.” -Phyllis Theroux
Take some time this week to intentionally let those in your life know how much you appreciate them and if you need to, set a reminder in your calendar to do it again next month.